The Complete Jorts Style Guide

Jorts.

What’s not to love about frayed denim flapping aimlessly in the wind as you rip around town on your scooter picking up ice cream and dog food for your uncle? It’s hard not to pick up breezies when you got a salty pit stain on your v neck.

Although I don’t rock jorts all too often, I can understand the fascination. All the benefits of a cool breeze with all the functionality of regular jeans. They do take a hit if you’re looking for more carrying capacity, which cargo shorts do offer, but that’s a tale for another day.

Before we get into the thick of it, let’s look at some big dawgs that rocked jorts.

  • John Cena, although that’s alleged because we can’t exactly see him
  • Stone Cold Steve Austin, he’d stunner you through a dollhouse
  • Kevin Smith, he’s one half of the dynamic duo Jay and Silent Bob
  • Mark Wahlberg, both on and off the set of Pain & Gain
  • Shia LaBeouf, the fashion icon
  • Kevin Hart’s little ass

And you know what, they all (allegedly) pulled them off.

What do guys wear with jorts?

You have unlimited options when it comes to rocking a fit with jorts. You can go the formal route and do a full on jacket and tie like Tim Tebow (google it) or keep it casual and go shirtless while you’re giggin frogs. A classic is the cut-off NASCAR teeshirt to show off the four weeks of progress you’ve made in the gym while you’re slamming back Natty Lights at a street dance.

The first step to finding out what to wear with jorts is to find out what is most comfortable. That’s what you wear with jorts.

Can you wear jorts to work?

You’re damn right you can. Any office environment that doesn’t allow jorts is not an office environment for you. If Brett, your office manager, comes by and says that its unprofessional, show them this picture of Marky Mark to prove him wrong. Be sure to include the braided belt to complete the look.

 

What should you wear with jorts to a party?

It depends whether you were invited to the party while you were wearing jorts or not. If you were, you don’t need to wear anything at all except a jimmy cause you’re gonna need it. If you weren’t, I’d still keep on handy, either in your wallet or pre-applied ready to rock and roll later.

Jorts inspiration

If you don’t have a fine dime yet, you’ll find yourself a high rise jeans cutie in no time

You wanna talk about the pinnacle of flexin and finessin? Peep the vascular legs on this 10

Knees too pointy. 2/10

Look at this Instagram account for more jortsperation

https://www.instagram.com/jortsmanship/